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?No, Grandma, please don?t kill me, please don?t kill me." "I?m sorry. I?m sorry. I won?t ever get out of bed again, I promise. Please don?t hurt me.? I screamed louder. I was shaking badly. I couldn?t get away. It had taken a few seconds before I realized she had stopped whipping me. I saw her walk toward the front of the house where someone was knocking on the front door. I followed at a safe distance, trying to see what was going on. ?Good evening Mrs. Christian.? It was the police chief, Mr. Holland. ?May I come in,? he asked. ?she opened the screen door still holding the buggy whip in her hand. Nine years later: ??There?s no room for you at Grandma?s?we have been talking about what to do with you.? I don?t know if anger or disappointment, unleashed a powerful energy within me that exploded. I decided at that moment that no one would find me in the way or a nuisance any longer. ?Mom, stop! I can decide my own damned destiny; I?m gonna? join the Army Air Force.? "My mother didn't love me or want me..."