Best Picks from Alfred E. Newman (Humorous quotations)

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“A teacher is someone who talks in our sleep!”“Teenagers are people who act like babies if they’re not treated like adults!”“A college jock is someone who minds his build instead of vice versa!” “Smoking helps you lose weight — one lung at a time!”“Today, if you ask a car dealer to let you see something…
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Love In a Paper Bag

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It was Molly’s job to hand her father his brown paper lunch bag each morning before he headed off to work. One morning, in addition to his usual lunch bag, Molly handed him a second paper bag. This one was worn and held together with duct tape, staples, and paper clips. “Why two bags?” her…
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A MAN WITHOUT A FACE

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Here is a true story by Paul Harvey.   You will be surprised who this young man turns out to be.  (Do not look at the bottom on this letter until you have read it fully.)  Years ago a hardworking man took his family from New York State to Australia to take advantage of a work…
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My projects, like sand castles…

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Sand Castles  Hot sun. Salty air. Rhythmic waves. A little boy is on the beach. On his knees he scoops and packs the sand with plastic shovels into a bright red bucket.  Then he upends the bucket on the surface and lifts it. And, to the delight of the little architect, a castle tower is…
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Cute things kids say about Moms

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Cute things kids say about Moms  Read all the way through – the last part is the funniest!!  “Why God made moms”  answers given by elementary school age children to  the following questions:  Why did God make mothers?   1. She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the…
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[ENGLISH] GOT MILK?

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Taking life easy and smiling at our failures  Got Milk?  After taking my 7-year old daughter to school one day, I caught a plane to Chicago for a meeting.  When I opened my briefcase, there for all to see was a plastic baggie full of my daughter’s Lucky Charms cereal that she had been eating…
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